Ugly Ties

February 2, 2003

I met up with John, who is "the coffee shop gossip," and Bree, who is "The Coffee Shop Girl," at the bar down the street. If you read my last post about The Coffee Shop Girl, you might be wondering what happened between then and now. Nothing. I'm still as confused as I ever was, only now I've given up trying to figure anything out.

The two of them had been invited to a hipster lesbian art party being thrown by a coworker of theirs, and they asked me if I’d like to tag along. The theme was supposed to be "Euro Trash," which I didn’t know until we arrived. Everyone was dressed up a little differently, I suppose, though it was hard to tell. It wouldn't have mattered anyway—I have a knack for wearing the same thing no matter what the situation.

The party was pretty lame from my standpoint, so it really couldn't have mattered less. I say it was lame from my standpoint, because if I were a hip, Williamsburg lesbian in my early 20s, the party would've been the place to be. But for me, well, it made me sad and tired. No problem, John is on the wagon, and Bree has social anxiety disorder, so they didn't want to stay long either. We came back to my place and hung out a little. Bree told us about the fight she just had with her roommate, a guy from Nebraska, whom I've met a few times. I couldn't quite decipher what their fight was all about, typical roommate-type stuff. The conversation twisted and turned a little, and then Bree told John how jealous her roommate is of his Nebraska football tie. John has a bunch of funny ties, and one of them is a Nebraska football tie that he found at a thrift store featuring the Nebraska team logo, pictures of various players, etc. Ugly. The roommate wants it—says things like, "John’s not from Nebraska! He has no right to wear that tie!"

"No,” said John, “I’m from New Jersey, so I have every right!"

"If he's so into Nebraska,” the roommate says, “tell him to go hunting then!"

John says, "I do go hunting—hunting for ugly ties."