Shambhala

Nov 18, 2010

I was hoping to see Brian before he left on another one of his soul-seeking adventures on “the road to Shambhala,” but he called last week to let me know it probably wasn't happening -- seeing him before his trip, that is, not the trip itself.

"I've got a lot of shit to do," he said.

He says that a lot, regardless of how much shit he has to do, but since he was going away for nearly three months, there's no doubt it was true this time.

Where is he going this time? To India again? Maybe Nepal? Thailand? Yes, yes, and yes, but only in the ten days leading up to his real destination: Burma. Or should I say Republic of the Union of Myanmar? Whenever I tell people that Brian is going to Myanmar, they all say, "Oh Burma?" and when I tell them he's going to Burma, they say, "Oh, Myanmar?" There's a rather lengthy Wikipedia entry entitled The Names of Burma, but reading it doesn't help in deciding what to call it. What's in a name? A whole lot, apparently.

In any case, whatever you call it doesn't change its physical locale. Brian is going to attend a 60-day meditation retreat at a Buddhist monastery. The last time he visited the Monastery it was in the equally exotic State of Virginia -- or maybe it was West Virginia, I can't remember. (You think telling people you are going to a Burmese Monastery for 90 days gets a reaction, try telling them you're going to one in Virginia.) He didn't stay the full 60 days in Virginia, however. He hopped into his pickup truck after a month and a half and peeled out in a cloud of dirt. "S'long suckers."

Even though he didn't stay in the Virginia Monastery for as long as he planned, he was still "in silence" long enough that it took him time to adjust to being thrust back into the Grand Illusion. When he finally resurfaced, he said, without going into much detail, that he wasn't happy with the way the place was run. A vow of silence makes it virtually impossible to offer any constructive criticism, however, and it's unlikely they would've been very receptive anyway.

Perhaps in Burma, arguably the most devoutly Buddhist country in the world, things will be different. Let's hope so, because it won't just be a matter of jumping into a truck if they aren't.

Some of the "shit he had to do" before Brian left involved getting his visa squared away. A religious visa allows a person to stay in Burma longer than a tourist visa does (90 days versus 28 days), but it's not nearly as easy to get, and he was told it would take a couple of weeks before his application was approved. It took over five weeks, during which time Brian was told that the embassy had lost his passport. They couldn't find it.

When they finally found it and mailed it back, along with his approved visa, Brian was left with only two days to get his Indian visa. That might've been plenty of time if his application hadn't initially been declined because he wrote out his full middle name on the visa application while his passport only has a middle initial.

The next time I heard from him, he was at the airport."Dude, I am at JFK. I have all my paperwork, my tickets, my reservations, everything is all set. Now I can relax…oh hello…a couple of Scandinavian hotties just passed by. Nice. Did I tell you that's my plan? To meet my Scandinavian wife."

"And here I was thinking you were looking for some kind of spiritual awakening."

"That, too."

"Are we talking long-term goals, or are you planning to meet your wife on this trip in particular? I mean, is Burma a good place to find a Scandinavian wife?"

"Who knows, maybe. Or maybe India, or Thailand."

"Some single woman on an Eat, Pray Love soul quest."

"You got it, Jack."

"It seems to me that if you want a Scandinavian wife, you might want to try Scandinavia."

"I plan to, when I get back."

It's good to have goals.