Alien Life Form

November 30, 2003

Girls are afraid of my basement. Jasmin thought she heard ghosts there once while she was doing laundry. She skidattled back upstairs in a hurry. I always tell her she can do laundry down there any time she wants, but instead she lugs her heavy bags to the laundromat. Yesterday, Britta said that if it were her basement, she'd be afraid to go down there, too. Whenever someone comes to read the meter they get spooked by the mannequin. Raymi said she thought she was gonna get AIDS by walking around barefoot on the cement. Kimmy never even went down there at all. I think Denver maybe liked it a little, but she's kinky like that.

It never felt spooky to me. I like to go down there and do guy stuff. Tinker. Drink beer. Look at dirty magazines. But yesterday I got startled. As I was down there sorting through all my crap, I moved a bag that had been sitting in a little puddle. Underneath it had been growing some kind of alien life form. It looked like a cross between a brain slug and a shitake mushroom. Big and brown and curled up at the edges. It looked like it should live in the sea. I didn't touch it, because I thought that it might absorb me like the blob. A few days after I moved the bag, the puddle evaporated. So today the little critter is all dried up. Kind of a light tan on the outside and white and dusty on the inside. Sorry little guy.