Diner & Subway

November 26. 2002

I have a problem. And no, it's not that it hurts when I pee! Here's what happened between yesterday and this morning:

1) I was having a drink at a bar/restaurant in my neighborhood last night. I stopped in by myself and was talking to my pal Colin, who runs the place. In walks this beautiful, tall, slender, Eurasian girl who asks the bartender if they have any corn on the cob. They didn't, so she ordered an order of mashed potatoes instead. To go. While she's waiting, she starts telling me about how she just ate delicious corn on the cob on a stick from a Mexican place on Bedford Ave, and she was hungry for more. You know how girls are when they crave specific things. I thought to myself, "This girl is nutty—just my type".

Anyway, she asked me if I came there often, where I lived, etcetera. A guy enters who had been waiting outside and asks her what the deal is—she says she's waiting for her order, so he goes back outside. She makes sure to tell me that the guy is just a friend of hers, not her boyfriend. I wondered, but I didn't ask. She introduced herself, asked my name, we shook hands, etc, etc. So what's the problem? I didn't ask for a phone number, that‘s the problem. The guy next to me at the bar watched the whole encounter and said, “What’s wrong with you?” I told him, just like I'm telling you, I'm a fuck up, pure and simple.

2) I was waiting for the subway this morning when I caught the eye of a cute girl. She looked like a cross between Wynona Ryder and a stranger, with huge doll eyes. We got on the same car and stole glances at each other until we both got off at the same stop. I watched her go to a different exit than me and figured, "Oh well—there she goes—" But I ran into her at the intersection a block later. We both got stuck behind the same annoying old couple who were walking slowly, taking up the entire sidewalk. I finally broke the ice and said, "Looks like we're both on the same schedule." She laughed—"Yes—I'm late." We introduced ourselves and walked and talked about where we both worked, what we both did, and our plans for Thanksgiving, etc. Then we came to the street where I work, and I said, "I'll go this way." We shook hands, got each other's names, and that was that—again, a big dopey idiot. I told this story to a guy I work with, and he immediately looked up the number of the restaurant, handed it to me, and told me to call. I'll keep you posted.