A Pretty Fish

June 8, 2004

I think it's funny when a girl tries to warn me of who she is or what she's capable of. I mean, not funny ha-ha, but funny nonetheless. I am so beyond being hurt that I just have to smile. My heart breaks and heals with every beat. I fall in and out of love with every breath. If you doubt that I've seen it all, then hit me with your best shot.

That's not to say I'm excessively bitter or jaded, though readers of this blog may disagree. But I see no reason to treat another human being like shit. So I just go on stubbornly being kind and attentive. I'm bewildered when I pay an honest compliment, or listen to what a girl has to say, and they suddenly think I've fallen hopelessly in love. "I'm afraid I don't like you the way that you like me."

Is showing up on time or returning a phone call all it takes for a girl to feel overwhelmed and hotly pursued? Don't flatter yourself, doll face. I treat everyone like this. But still, they say, "You're too good to me.”

It was as though she couldn't breathe outside her little world. Once in a while, I could steal a kiss. But she couldn't bear it, and if I tried to keep her out of the water too long, she'd flip-flop out of my hands and swim away, or else she’d die. She even said so. When she saw the longing in my eyes, she said, "You're killing me." So I let her go. But she sure was a pretty fish